Our partner

Blog Stats
12046Total Entries
4269Total Comments
Search Blogs

Random Blog Entry
Don't know how to stop wanting to be everything. by vertices on Sat Nov 19, 2011 8:57 am
As a consequence of lacking a concrete sense of self, for some reason, I find myself wanting to be too many things; things which I am not or can't really be, and may even contradict each other. Especially around the time I am exposed to those things, I become attached to them and build fantasies around them, but this only lasts for a brief period of time until they are replaced by nothing, or by something else.

For example, if I watch a movie with a character that stands out in some way, and whose personality and general presence I can somehow appreciate, I end up wanting to emulate that character or their environment. My fundamental beliefs about things begin to waver and then I start to not know what is mine and what is stolen from the character or the setting or whatever else.

This happens with all sorts of things, not just people. If I listen to music, I want to create music, if I read books, I want to write books. If I watch moves I want to make movies, and if I play games I want to design games. The problem is that I don't really have these interests when I am not constantly exposed to them. The drive is reflexive and not innate.

So I do too many things and never enough of them. I start too many things but never finish. And in the same sense, with my personality, I am attempting to be or become too many things at the same time, and the failure to do so only leaves me with frustration and pain. I feel incapable of being something, if anything, because I can never focus on one thing long enough to be it.

1 Comment Viewed 18086 times
Feed Recent Blog Entries
uhh by kibahidei on Wed Jul 17, 2019 3:30 am
does anyone else cut because they like pain and blood or is that just me

0 Comments Viewed 21980 times
Anxiety Dump by blueskies208 on Wed May 15, 2019 3:14 am
These are the things that give me anxiety and are pulling me down:

- My grandma might die soon
- My parents are getting older and I don't get to spend much time with them anymore -...

[ Continued ]

0 Comments Viewed 579720 times
New here...relationship/mental health question. by blueskies208 on Wed May 15, 2019 3:05 am
I'm new here. So I'm sorry I wasn't quite sure where to post this.
I'm really emotionally exhuasted. I had a severe emotional outburst at my sister and dad over Mother's Day weekend, and now my partner...

[ Continued ]

1 Comment Viewed 89341 times
Shameful of Childhood Kissing by AnonymousVolta on Fri Apr 05, 2019 10:09 pm
I’m going to try and recall these events best I can. When I was 11-12, I had a cousin around the same age who would visit periodically, when she came to visit, me and her always kissed. This wasn’t lik...

[ Continued ]

0 Comments Viewed 26824 times
I don't think I should own a dog. by 23andConcerned on Thu Apr 04, 2019 12:12 am
I've had a lovely Bichon since she was old enough to be away from her mum. She's just over a year old and I love her. If anything happened to her I would be distraught. To give her up would be horrible,...

[ Continued ]

0 Comments Viewed 317642 times
Feed Recent Comments
Re: Was I sexually abused? by Looking_to_help on Tue Mar 17, 2020 1:25 am
The feelings one might have of being violated or abused (whether physically, emotionally, sexually...etc) can happen whether the incident takes place in person, over the phone or through the internet......

[ Continued ]

Re: Aspie teen (boy) with constant raging by floatingtree on Thu Oct 03, 2019 8:48 am
Yeah I think you're right to approve it, but it's good for readers to be aware of the fact that it's a really old post, so I just wanted to point that out.

Re: Aspie teen (boy) with constant raging by Snaga on Thu Oct 03, 2019 6:08 am
True- I approved it anyway, thinking they may see it, you never know.

But it is unlikely.

Re: Aspie teen (boy) with constant raging by floatingtree on Wed Oct 02, 2019 10:59 am
The OP hasn't been online since 2013.

Re: Aspie teen (boy) with constant raging by Zoicite23 on Mon Sep 30, 2019 1:59 pm
Sounds rough.

People are kidding themselves when they talk about the type of self-sacrifice that entails giving your all to your sick child.

I know there's a politically correct response. I hope that...

[ Continued ]

Who is online

Registered users: Bing [Bot], Google [Bot], jillcarlton, Majestic-12 [Bot], verdigri, zuhair98